In my interviews with the VPOWs, I discovered that each man had to decide to live, to bounce back, and to return with honor. The most impressive decision? Their refusal to become victims. Their dragons certainly victimized them, but the VPOWs never saw themselves as victims. They rejected victimization because they took control of the few things they could control. Their captors told them when, what, and if they could eat, when they could shower, sleep, and use the toilet. They lacked governance over parts of their lives that people normally take for granted. But they did have control over one thing: their reactions. They decided how to respond to the dragon and steadfastly pursued avenues that helped them stay in control of their principles and emotions.
Why did the Vietnam POWs return with honor but no PTSD? Myriad reasons explain why they fared better than those of other captivity situations: They were older, all volunteers, better educated, and trained in survival techniques. But the fact that they were almost all aviators played a role too. Before capture, these men joined a system that encouraged cohesion and not only tolerated humor but also encouraged and revered it. We often call humor of this stripe gallows humor – bleak, ridiculing, mocking humor—a different class of humor than many favor.
Although Honorable Returns is a work of fiction, I based it on my original research, historical figures, events, locations, and personal experience. Consequently, I draw on real in-the-trenches events as I recount the challenges of living the life of a military wife and the joys of meeting amazing people along the way. I held the hands of friends who waited to learn the fate of their missing husbands and laughed uncontrollably when we celebrated milestones far away from our families.
Why did the VPOWs return with honor but almost no PTSD? Their complex answers vary, but one thing seems clear: The VPOWs created a path through their adversity—a passageway of human connection based on control and grounded in the effective use of humor. These heroes didn’t dispatch every dragon they encountered, but they slew enough of them that they created freedom where none existed.
